Teach me how to use, the love that people say you make..

Been listening to the Avett Brothers today, It's been a day of quiet, sleeping, reading and listening. Well needed I think, right now everything is different. It's amazing, I've got a complete renewal in Christ!

So, I feel like I written about this so many times now, But I went away to Center Parcs on impact training last week thinking I was free in Christ, That I was doing well and God totally showed up and spoke to my about so many things he wanted to deal with in my life.

My main thing was that I didn't want to believe in healing, and I didn't really care to much for it, unless it was life saving. This is something that had happened to me from throughout my life praying for people for major healing and seeing nothing, yet seeing people with a slightly bad back or a cold being healed. I found it really hard to understand and I was about angry with God about it (If you know me personally you may know what I talking about specificly but because it involves someone else life I thought better then to post it on my blog, so you me and would like to know more send me a message and I will send you my newsletter). God has totally broken through on this for me though, I feel like I have a new heart for people, I actually care about their tiny aches and pains!

I had a problem with my feet where I walked on the wrong part of them, giving me a slightly odd walk and causing tiny fractures in the small bones in my feet, I got treated at the doctors and had to wear special insoles that correct my walking. I hated this insoles with all my life, I couldn't wear nice shoes, I felt like I was wearing a foot brace and was really self concious of them. I stopped wearing them and even though my feet got painful from time to time I was to suborn to wear them, maybe I would wear them from time to time if it was a partially walky day. During Christmas my feet had got unbearable and walking was extreamly painful. It got so bad when I went out with my mum one day I was actually crying because I couldn't bare it. I had to go and get new insoles (because I had thrown mine away) and had one of my feet gripped up because the muscle had also started to tear. So there was a word of knowledge about feet so I got prayer and nothing happened. Next day, another one about feet, Got prayer and nothing happened.

Eventually after God had dealt with everything he needed to in my heart, My feet got healed!

So much has happened through last week, there was a part of the talks on dealing with your emotions and I have a bit of a reputation for being a bit of a straight talker. I guess have a strong moral compass, I've always been quite happy to say If I don't think something is right. I always worry that it is a negative thing and people see this side of me more then the nice side. I always try to speak out of love. So I got prayer for it, asking God to make me nicer to people.. ha! So while I was getting prayer I got words like "God is so happy with you" and a friend gave me a word saying God has made me fisty! So basically, I asked God to change that and he said no! I guess that's a good thing.

The type I am using has gone funny! I don't know why!

Anyway that is just a snippet of what God did last week, he did loads and is continuing to. I want to get to a place where God will ask me to do anything and I will do it, Where there is no fear of man at all in me. I want to do foolish things for Jesus!

Jackson C Frank

People are outstanding, And songs, writing, art, creativity, people are just so.. much more then limbs and organs I guess is what I'm saying. I am a massive Laura Marling fan, and folk music in general and I discovered Jackson C Frank through a cover Marling had done of The Blues Run the Game. I'm a massive fan of biographies, people stories, It's important to know a bit about people lives to understand them. I'm not talking about celeb gossip, I'm talking about life shaping stories. Things that shape people, make them what they are.

Jackson C Franks story is one of sadness and depression, he produced these beautiful songs through it though. At the age of 11 a furnace exploded at his school, in which 18 of his classmates were killed. The fire left him with burns over half of his body, Whilst recovering in hospital his music teacher purchased him an acoustic guitar as something to do whilst in recovery.

The folk music scene in Greenwich village led him to New York where he made his biggest impact on the music scene. At the age of 21 he received an insurance of $110,50, Enough to catch a boat to England.

He moved to London and shared a flat with a struggling folk musician called Paul Simon, who ended up producing the majority of Franks album. Although he initially impressed the British folk scene, he found it hard to keep there interest and failed to produce any follow up records. This caused a deepening depression and stage fright for Frank, and he decided to move back to the states, however still never to realise another album.

His depression got worse and he ended up being institutionalised on a few occasions where he was treated for paranoid schizophrenia. However a few years later things were looking better and he attempted to realise a new album, however failed to get any companies to touch it due to what they called a lack of marketable appeal for his music.

He later married and had a son followed by a daughter, However his son died of cystic fibrosis, sending Frank deeper into depression.

After this whilst sitting on a bench in New York he was shot in the eye, Leaving him blind in one eye. At the time the reason was unknown for this but it was later discovered it was children in the neighbourly playing with a pellet gun and Frank had simply been sitting in the wrong place.

Frank died later of pneumonia and cardiac arrest at the age of 56.

Every ones life has a story, and Jacksons is heart breaking, but one of not giving up on doing what you love, which in his case was writing, and boy could he write. His songs have inspired many great folk musicians including the late Nick Drake a fellow song writer with the ability to communicate their story.

His song the blues run the game, documents his move to England. Here is his version and it is followed by a few covers of it which I think are also stunning. I hope you enjoy him.

Anyway I hope you like him, I haven't really done a post like this before but I thought I would because well, music is such a major thing in my life.

Where I work!

Health, Wealth and CARVERIES!

Hello! I am writting with one very full belly at the moment, It's prayer and share time of the week and Alan took us for CARVERIES YUM! It's pretty hard to concentrate on any work now though cause I am so full!

This weekends been fairly stressful, things havent seen as smooth as normal. Relitivly that is. Vicky and I lead worship at new horizons on Friday, It was fun but scarey and abit hard to play with a fair amount of people singing slightly differently! but never the less very fun!

So resently alot of talk about properity gospel and health and wealth seam to be cropping up, do I belive it? Not in the slightest. So I am planning to look up more things about them and write to blog soon to come about it. I could write about it now, basicaly, it's heresey! But I want to write a lovely well researched inteligent! (If I do inteligent?!?) blog on the matter.

Anyway here is abit of Lisa Hannigan, I had the privallage of getting to see her play at the wedgewood rooms in Portsmouth in 2009, It was one of my favourite gigs ever. they had proper chairs and tables, which was pretty weird to find in the wedge! But was lovely, highlight of the evening though was having a bag of flour thrown on my by a gang of chavs on scooters whilst walking home, It was like something from a movie!

So "Let's talk about romance and relationships!"

Good day! Well today was prayer and share day with the one and only Alan Preston, Honestly I've never met anyone quite like him before, That's not a negative thing. I would try and describe him but I honestly. Hyper Irish man with a massive heart would be my best try I guess. We usually have prayer and share once a week on the Tuesday just after staff prayer (A lot of praying I know!) But we have missed Prayer and Share the past two weeks with prayer and fasting and training. So today was so nice to get that chance to stop again and actually check up on everyone and find out how things really are. Alan chose to talk about relationships today, Which was a bit of an odd choice as we actually have to be on pause during the impact year (this means whatever relationship status we are in we must stay in and not move further, For example if you are single, you stay single, if you are courting you don't get engaged, if your engaged you don't get married, you get the idea yeah?) People tend to be confused about being on pause, like my nan thinks I've become a Nun. But to be honest I'm completely happy to be on pause, it means I can easily put that stuff aside and spend time along with God. Something I've needed to do for ages, It's also a lovely break from the drama that used to be my love life! 'Causing me and Danny's conversations to be well, rather different then moaning or laughing about whatever stupid situation I've got myself in, So yeah, Hurrah for being on pause!

So the choice of subject was a weird one, But actually everyone opened up and said that they were struggling with, got wonderful encouragement and advice. It's really cool to take in what other people say about that kind of stuff because sometimes you can think your the only one with your opinion! Then you realise if your on the right track or not, realise your not as mad as you first thought!

So, James (my old house mate who I lived with for 3 years) visited this weekend and it was great. I love that man so much! I have a few photos that will be up at some point, If my lovely pound land disposable camera actually works, we will find out aye!

Can't think of anything else to write for now really! So Here is what I'm listening to at the moment... some lovely Johnny Flynn!

Also as I cant put photos on because I've gona all old school with my photography here is some photos from Impact I've nicked of Katie.

Playing Hackesack at training.

Myself and Vicky.

Myself, Vicky and Katie.

Myself, Vicky, Gareth, Katie and Max; Stewarding at Prayer and Fasting.

Max and Me doing the morning Huddle.
Katie, Vicky and Max, Working hard setting up Alpha!

Gareth, Preaching it!

Myself, Katie and Vicky! This is like my favourite! It shows how much I love them two, In fact I think I owe them a blog dedicated the them one day soon!
Myself, Max and Vicky.. Some kind of dance, maybe? I don't remember!
More Hackysack at training (Is that even what they are called I'm not sure)
This is where CCK put there Impacters when they're not serving!
Vicky.. Pooor poor Vicky!

I caught a Katie!!!

I've cut my nails to short!

I know it doesn't actually matter, but now its going to irritate me all week! I am speaking from a happy place, As my Creative Review subscription has come through the door finally today, and I have a day off work, Even though it a working day for me sadly.

I got back from my second training block last night and it was so good, I feel like more at home around people now so it was relaxing to be around people more settled. We did, The old Testament, New Testament, Acts and church history. We acted out all the history and geography stuff, This was really helpful to me because I'd tried to read it before but never been able to get my head around it. So that is happy days!

Last week was pretty horrible though, I was so ready to run off home! But I didn't know where home was, ha, was a strange one. I went to Chris and Christina's engagement do, Which was so lovely, Then went back to Portsmouth for the night, Went to SCC in the morning, then came back. Then I had prayer and fasting in Peterborough and popped in to see my parents on the way back. Had a few days back at work, Felt really ill and then on Sunday in the evening some of the SCCers came to the evening service at CCK. So after that I was all emotional and sad and wanting to go home, but I was confused as to where it was, I know Brighton is home though. I feel settled and I know I'm wear God wants me to be, So that's call, It's just certain people I miss, Not the place, and when I visited a different church I didn't feel like connected to it or a part of it or God partially wanted me there like I do in Brighton so that is amazing that God's put me where I need to be!

Anyway that's it for now! I need to go write a talk on Evangelism, so I will probably post it on here when it's done and checked by people cleverer then me, Best not commit accidental heresy hey!

So my latest musical discovery Leah Mason, I wasn't sure about her to begin with but now I really like it, she plays a mean guitar aswell..

Why the long pause Deli?

Well hey! And it's been a long time! Well how mental has life got? Abit more then normal!

So, I have a new job! A new pad, a new city, a whole new lifestyle! There's lots to take in, which explains the lack of blogs. So this blog should be quite an update.

So I finished my temp job working with an adult with Autism, and I was really sad to leave. I learnt so much, and had so much fun. Some days you would feel like you were getting no-where and other days you would think this is so cool he's understanding me! This job really made me think about what I want from my future and I defiantly think caring is something I would be happy doing, in some form or another.

So, I found somewhere to move to in Brighton, Lodging with a family. Managed to get all my funds needed to set off. My move date was 30th Aug. It came really quick! Managed to fit all my things in the car, with me, Mama and Papa. Which is amazing considering all my other moves have taken a van load of things. Moved in and the family are lovely, very warm and friendly.

Started work, and it's all good, Everyone I work with are lovely and even though it's now been a month, I feel like its been loads of months! We had our first Theology training session, It was great! We looked at Scripture and Interpretation, and Genesis. I feel really content in being able to sit and make time to learn more and more about him, and to be able to have some great people around at work whose brains I can pick!

The work pace is a bit quicker then I'm used to but I'm sure after time I will be able to just get into the swing of things! I've designed 2 flyers, 3 leaflets, and done some animating, Working with the youth has been fun! I am really enjoying work! And God is doing amazing things!

So recently I've been thinking about looking up to God, And how when you look to God and not your problems it doesn't make your problems go away! BUMMER HEY?!?! There are songs in the psalms called the songs of assent, These were sung by the Jews as they ascended up a to Jerusalem where they would spend time with God, These songs had like a line per step or something cool like that, here is a song a ascent;

Psalm 121

My Help Comes from the LORD

A Song of Ascents.

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come

My help comes from the LORD,

who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;
the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.
The LORD will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

So what happens when we look to God and not our problems, We gain an understanding that God is ultimately in control, That HE never sleeps, We sleep! He looks after our coming and going, But looking at God in the face of trouble, Lifting your eyes to him, God keeps you. How cool is that! When you remember this it wont make your problems dissapear but will make them handleable, You gain the knowledge that God bigger then anything!

I've been trying to get lifting my eyes to God into everything at the moment!

Song I'm listening to at the moment, Lone Wolf- Silver Revolver

I cant remember how I got into this band, But their album Smoking Gun is such a lovely varied peace, Starting off with Silver revolver and blending into a few wispier folky numbers then getting more electric and rough towards the end. Then blending back into more wispier soft numbers but with about of a darker attitude, and some bongo action. I really enjoy it!